I Miss My Tabby Cat (2)

I Miss My Tabby Cat (2)

Later, the kitten grew up and became a big cat. It began to reproduce, and gave birth to a litter of kittens. The kittens were quite cute, but the family could not keep so many cats. Finally, my father thought again and again and gave the kittens away one by one. I can’t forget the scene when the tabby cat was extremely anxious and screamed everywhere to find its children after the last kitten was sent away. It was as desperate as a human mother who had lost her own child… After a long time, the cat seemed to be indifferent to parting. After that experience, it became silent and rarely as lively and active as before. Perhaps it was because it had grown up and became a little calmer. I often saw it sleeping on its side in the yard. Occasionally, I would touch its plump belly and it didn’t react much.

The next year, it gave birth to another litter of kittens. The family discussed that it was not a good idea to keep giving birth to kittens like this (at that time, we didn’t know how to sterilize pets). Finally, my father decided to keep a little male cat and give the rest of the kittens to others. Because the big cat was very good at catching mice, he sent it back to his relatives’ home to help solve the mouse problem. On the day he was sent away, he was put in a sack. I remember that she didn’t struggle too much, but just kept calling “meow~meow”; now think about it, maybe she was scolding us for being so heartless! From then on, I cut off contact with the big cat.

The second time I met her was when my great-grandmother passed away. I went back to my hometown to attend her funeral and saw her at my relatives’ house. At that time, she was eating with her head down, and when she looked up and saw me, she stood there without saying a word. I also stood there without saying a word. It was a scene of meeting an old friend again, as if no amount of words could describe the feelings in my heart, so saying anything would be redundant. One person and one cat looked at each other, and there were scenes of me and it together in the past in front of me again… Before I could get close, my father called me to help with trivial matters.

Oh, by the way, the little male cat we left behind – its child, died in the winter of the second year after it left. The corners of the kitten’s mouth turned black. My father said that it might have eaten rat poison by mistake. The yard became deserted and quiet again. Perhaps in some corner, the descendants of the rats that were rampant back then will make a comeback. Perhaps they will be happy that now they have no natural enemies, they can do whatever they want…

Since then, my family has not kept cats. Sometimes, I occasionally hear cats meowing, and see cats from unknown families passing by on the courtyard wall, which reminds me of the tabby cat.

How is it now? I checked and found that the longest lifespan of a cat is 15 years. I calculated with my fingers that if it is still alive, it is far more than 15 years old…

Alas, sometimes I dream of a cat vaguely, and I can’t tell if it is it.

Last time I sorted out old books, I accidentally flipped to an old textbook, Mr. Ba Jin’s “Little Dog Baodi”, and I thought of my tabby cat again. Sometimes I wonder how much trust she had in her family when she came back on her own? Did we disappoint her? What was she thinking when we met again after a long absence? If I could beg for forgiveness, would she forgive me?

I would like to borrow a sentence from Mr. Ba Jin, “I am not afraid of being laughed at. I want to say: I miss the tabby cat and I want to apologize to her.”